Helpful Molly

Me: Molly, what are you doing? Molly: Helping you make the bed! Me: You’re not being very helpful though. Molly: Yes I am! I’ve watched Pixie help over the years and I’m just doing what she does. Me: Pixie isn’t exactly helpful either. Molly: You humans really don’t appreciate how much us cats help you! …

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Christmas Artemis

Me: Arty, look Christmassy! Arty: How do I do that?! Me: I don’t know, think Christmassy thoughts. Arty: I’ll look Christmassy if you give me food. Me: You don’t need more food. Arty: What about this tree, is this food? Me: No, do NOT eat that. Arty: But… Me: Arty NO! *grabs tree*

Molly’s New Bed

Me: Wow Molly! You’re in the new bed I bought you. Molly: Of course I am, you got me a lovely gift. Me: I wasn’t expecting you to like it straight away. I thought you’d carry on stealing Daz’s dressing gown and refuse to use it. You’re kind of ruining my joke… Molly: Pfft there’s …

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Box Protester

Me: Pixie! Where are you? Pixie: Up here silly! Me: What are you doing up there? Pixie: Protesting. Me: What are you protesting about? Pixie: You giving away all these boxes. They’re our boxes! Me: They’re Doodlecats boxes for me to pack stuff in. Pixie: I’m a Doodlecat! Me: Yes, good point, but… They’re not …

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Naughty Molly!

Me: Molly! I turned my back for two minutes, what on earth are you doing?! Molly: Me? Nothing! Me: That’s strange because it looks like you broke into the catnip and made a giant mess. Molly: Wasn’t me, must have been Arty. Me: You are literally rolling around in it right now. Molly: Nope, nothing …

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Arty, the Not-So-Lazy-Cat

– Hey Arty, it’s a nice surprise having you here helping me work. – I’m keeping an eye on you, making sure you’re not telling lies about me. – Why would I lie about you? – I’ve seen what you put on the internet, that I’m lazy and don’t do any work. – Well you …

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Vet time

– Why are you grumpy Pix? – You know why. – Pixie, I had to take you to the vets, it’s for your own good. – I don’t feel good. I had to go in a carrier, I saw a dog and I got prodded by a vet. – It’s all for the best, I …

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Lazy Arty

– Hey Arty. Are you going to go outside and play with Molly and Pixie? They’re having such fun! – Is there a heated bed outside? – No. – Then no, I’m not going outside. – But it would be good for you Arty, you could get some exercise. – Bwahahaha! Exercise!

Good Molly

– Hey Molly, I’m really impressed with you! – Why? – The Christmas tree is still standing with all its decorations still on it. – Well what did you expect? – Total and utter destruction. – I’m a good cat, I wouldn’t dream of destroying anything. – Who are you and what have you done …

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The tree is up!

How long until it’s down?! – Wow, why’s there a tree in the house? – It’s a Christmas tree Molly and you must not play on it or steal the decorations. – You’re kidding right? – Nope, the tree isn’t for you, it’s just to look pretty. – I’ll look pretty whilst I destroy it. …

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Energetic Artemis

– Hey Arty! You’re not in bed! – I’m not always in bed you know! – You are in bed most of the time. – I go to the kitchen. – For meals, then you go back to bed. – Well I’m not in bed now, I’m up and about and ready to go! By …

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Rudolph the Red Nosed Cat

– Hey Arty! – Um, do I have something on my head? – No. – Really, it feels like something is on my head? – Nope, nothing on your head. – Are you sure?  – Would I lie to you Arty? – Why are you giggling? – No reason *snigger*

Queen of the Boxes

– Hey Pix, can I have a box please? – No. – Please, I need one to put an order in. – No, stop taking the box! – But I really need it! – NO! They’re my boxes – I’m only taking one, you have lots left – I said NO! Give it back, give …

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Helpful Arty

– Hey Arty, a few people are wondering what exactly it is that you do around here? – What do you mean? I do a lot! – Well Pixie and Molly are always helping with the shop, packing orders, sorting things out, making stuff. You don’t seem to help at all. – I’m a supervisor. …

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Watching Invisibles

– What are you staring at Molly? – Up there on the wall, can’t you see? – I can see a wall? – Yeh but on the wall! – What’s on the wall, I can’t see anything. – I can’t believe you can’t see it! – What?! – Uh, you humans with your inferior eyes. …

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